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Age and time have little to do with maturity. There are many mature young people and many children from older generations. Maturity is about the way we behave and interact with the world around us. Because our emotions are directed at ourselves and others, we have our own ways of expressing them. An emotionally mature person has six qualities. If I had to rank the six qualities of an emotionally mature person based on how well I develop these qualities, I would put self-control first. Self-control is the ability to overcome impulses to respond appropriately. Before developing this self-control, we must be aware of ourselves. Once we develop a strong sense of self, we are better able to exercise a certain level of self-control.

We can identify the urges that build up in our minds and resist the temptation to act on them. For example, when I don’t like someone or someone doing something that makes me angry or upset, I can refrain from posting foul language or angry posts about that person. I’m able to stay calm when someone does something I don’t like. Especially now, when we are more inclined to communicate and express our individuality through the Internet.

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We now live in a world that draws our attention and engagement at every turn. Even as I settle down to write this reflection activity, ‘Ding!’, a new message, ‘Ting!’, someone posted on my Facebook timeline, a notification that someone is calling, although I had it muted to avoid distraction. Given all this digital distraction, it’s surprising that I’m still here, typing and doing this kind of reflective activity. The kind of self-control I developed helped me focus in a sea of ‘chaos’. As well as in our social selves, where we experience building relationships and friendships, heartbreak, empathy, and connecting with others, self-control needs to be manifested. For example, during a heartbreak or a breakup, I’ve been through, I have this emotional self-control that limits me from screaming, punching, or doing anything very impulsive. It also stopped me from crying uncontrollably. For another example, when I am walking on the road, there will be strangers catcalling me, self-control can help me not to break out, and not say bad things to them such as cursing them. It really prevents me from doing things I don’t want to do or feeling things I don’t want to feel, especially when I’m tempted.

Indeed, self-control is a very useful skill that defines us as emotionally mature people.

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